Behind the Scenes: Italian Vogue

Model Diaries will be a section under “diary” where I talk about thoughts and experiences that have to do with the industry that I work in currently, as a model.

It was Saturday night, and I received a Facebook message from one of Michel Comte’s producers. He said “call me”. I did, and found out that the next day, a Sunday, I would be shooting for Vogue (can’t say which one) again! How awesome. There are two points that I’d like to make here: 1. You never really know what’s going to happen in this industry- it’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. One moment you’re shooting every day, and the next week you can hear crickets. Would I want it any other way? ‘Maybe’, I start saying to myself…until I get one of these calls. I’m sucked in again. 2. There is some loyalty, somewhere in this pond of an industry. However it’s murky waters and you’ll have to focus and learn to sift the water. I am a very lucky girl. I know that I have a few people in this industry that have been loyal to me and my skill for some time- my agent Meg, a few designers, a few photographers, a few makeup artists. I feel these people genuinely have love for me- and maybe it’s because I stay away from the people that don’t. 3. Okay, so the shoot was on a Sunday. I really, really really put my foot down about shooting on Sundays. Sundays are my replenishing days, where I can reground myself and screw my head on straight again. Sometimes it’s easy to get distracted with money, or rent, or worldly things instead of fully dedicating yourself to the people and things that you love. So, after a couple of years of saying “okay sure!” I finally say “no”. . . unless it’s Vogue, or some giant paying job that I need. In the future though, I hope to be able to keep this day sacred and calm.

So the shoot. The producer had sent me a call sheet for the next day, and as my eyes glazed over the small writing, I noticed that ‘hey!’ I knew a lot of people that were going to be there. I was first excited about the fact that I’d be working and seeing Michel (one of  fashion’s greatest photographers; has worked with Cindy Crawford, Veruschka, Sophia Loren etc) & Ayako again, and then I noticed that I’d also get to see Nettie, the cutest, most adorable manicurist/artist. These people have love for me, a sincerity that I can feel. It is mutual. I am not nervous at all, because of this. I know it will be a wonderful shoot. The theme of the shoot was “* I can’t tell you until it’s out*“. There were all sorts of artists. I LOVED this, because I see myself too as a creative person, an individual, rather than a model.

Michel greets me with a “helloooo darrrling! Wow, you look FABULOUS!”…he said that last time I worked with him, only this time he quickly interjects ” You look so skinny! Wow! But I wanted you bigger!!! (laughs) just kidding. You look amazing”.  I laughed too, because I was thinking the same thing that morning. I thought ‘the last time Michel saw me, I was 30 pounds heavier. THIRTY. What happens if now he complains of wanting me ‘bigger’ again?  It would not surprise me. It would be funny’. Funny, because at that point I would just have to laugh at how crazy this industry is. One minute you’re too ‘skinny’, the next you’re too ‘fat’.  I feel really happy and comfortable in my body right now. I am so proud of the journey that I’ve had and the things that I’ve accomplished. I am loved. No one can take that away from me. That’s all that truly matters. (and just to clear things up, I was completely happy before, too! I didn’t even really notice how much weight I had gained).

So anyway, Soko runs up to me. I hadn’t seen her since our last Vogue shoot together, before she left on tour with Foster The People. I am so proud of her. We hug each-other tightly and she quickly grabs my waste and screams about how tiny I’ve become. I’m flattered because sometimes I wonder if it’s even noticeable. I’ve worked so hard, mainly on my MENTALITY, and it is motivating to hear that it is paying off. Soko is special. She has a soft soul and I can immediately tell what she’s thinking or how she’s feeling. We don’t see each other too often anymore, but I still have so much love for her. I have love for many people, now that I think about it. Anyone really, though there are a few people that are special to my heart. Nettie struts by and I can’t help but just smile and hold out my arms. I LOVE that woman! She is hilarious! During the whole shoot she kept teasing me about how she liked my rounder body. Actually, a few people told me so, including the chefs ( from restaurant Bestia) that were at the last Vogue Italia shoot. They said that before, I didn’t look like a model per se…but that It was refreshing and special. I, too, felt that it was unique, in a not-model sort of way. I liked that because I wasn’t model-skinny, my other assets were highlighted. Like my talent, or personality, etc. I definitely wasn’t booked because of my thinness. Anyway. That’s a whole other topic.

The actual shoot had a lot of down time, just because there were so many people on set.  I had an awesome *can’t say my hairstyle yet*, and OF COURSE, a giant cat eye. I think it’s becoming my “thing” you guys! If you couldn’t tell. haha. I don’t want to give too many details before the shoot comes out, but I’ll list a few things:

1. Ayako, Michel’s wife, was wearing an absolutely beautiful headscarf. It was wrapped at the base of her head and pulled over & tucked into a knot at the top. The women in Equatorial Guinea wore their colorful head scarves like this. I always thought that it was so beautiful. We talked about how to wrap a scarf around my head, and how she and Michel met for the first time. Ayako is one of the sweetest souls I’ve ever seen. She has sweet rosy cheeks and the kindest eyes, full of love, that make you feel welcomed.

2.The buffet had an amazing salad with chickpeas, cabbage, mozzarella, salami, olive oil and thyme(?). It was AMAZING! I don’t know if that’s because it’s true, or because I was very hungry. Probably both.

3. Most of all…Scott came to set after church! He is the sweetest man. Having him there, supporting me, watching me do my thing (finally), meant the World to me. Even when his phone died, he happily watched everything that was going on. I was the happiest girl, because in between scenes I could run over and give him a kiss. The. Best.

There were a lot of things in between this long long day, but I was such a happy girl. I am so grateful for these opportunities and the people that are in my life. Sometimes I don’t know how I got so lucky. I hugged Michel good bye, and he tucked my head between his and his shoulder. He said ” Thank you so much for coming. You look so happy. And, you look absolutely FABULOUS”. So much love. I said thank you with the biggest smile, and ran over to Scott. We quickly left to go make dinner. There was no better ending to a day.

-WAIT, actually it didn’t end there. I got home at 1 A.M, and decided to take a soothing, relaxing bath. ( I can’t even remember the last time I’d taken a bath). I lit some of my favorite candles and turned off the lights. The water was fogging up the tiles and steaming. My body slowly submerged in another world of warmth and safety. If you need something relaxing, I suggest you do this ASAP. It’s so wonderful.

What do you do to wind down?

Comment below and let me know!

Bath Celebration


Stay tuned to see the actual shoot and behind the scenes descriptions!

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