I was recently asked, in an interview, about who the most inspiring woman in my life is. While more often than not I would typically reply "my grandmother", because my grandmother really has had a huge impact on my life, this time around I couldn't help but so obviously feel that my mother was the one to look towards. Especially as the years go by, I increasingly find myself being in awe of the strength and sacrifice that my mother has given to her family. Maybe it's because as I start my own, I begin to see that she is human just like I am, flawed and perfect and strong all at once. We are the same.
And I wanted to write about this small incident, as I read the interview question, but my excited mind quickly flew onto another thought and I forgot to do so, as I forget to do many worthwhile things. Scatter-brained. And then as I sat on the couch with Scott, editing a recent shoot that we put together, I decided that I needed some hot chocolate, or else I'd fall asleep pronto ( it's 11:30 pm, way past my bed time). As I opened the cupboard to grab my favorite mug, it wasn't there — in fact the only mug on the shelf, nicely centered for me to see, was a mug from Tiffany's. A mug with the city of New York all over it. A mug that my mother had given me on my 16th birthday, because she really believed in me. I used to tell her "mom, I'm going to New York. I need to go to New York, and I'm going to sign with this agency, and it's just something that I need to do". As crazy as I must have sounded, so sure and so certain at such a young age, she never once put me down or made my dreams feel like mere clouds of naivety . Not only did she say "alright, let's go to New York!" (while having 3 other children to take care of, and not a whole lot of money to spend), she gifted me this mug, because it represented my dreams, and she believed in them. And she gave it to me because she loved me enough to want me to know that she cared. That she believed in me. And she did, and she does.
I hope to one day be a mom that so greatly supports as my mom has supported me. For some reason, years ago, when I was given this mug, I thought "that's so sweet". But now it has a new meaning, a new life, and as a woman who can relate to my mother more nowadays than ever before, my heart felt so sad. And so grateful. Sad that I never noticed the gesture, intent and extent of love that my mom had for me. Grateful that I have been this loved for a very long time.