Let’s Talk Self-Love: You Can’t Please Everyone, So You’ve got to Please Yourself

A self-love diary post recalling a recent incident, originally posted on Instagram:

A stylist recently kept criticizing my body on set— eventually saying, in front of the entire crew, ”she has no ass!”. I whipped around and told her to stop, that she’d been insulting me all day— because she had been. Aside from that moment being incredibly wrong and problematic, it made me feel defensive (and rightly so) of my body— which felt empowering. My body is mine. It has given me so much. It has stood by my side through—literally—thick and thin, beautiful in every stage. It used to fill out and stretch pants (or not fit them at all), and the industry would say, «you don’t fit». So, when I heard, essentially, «you’re too thin!», I chuckled under my breathe. Somewhere along the way I’d forgotten, and suddenly then remembered, something I knew long ago— that in this industry, and in life, you’ll never please everyone! And if you get lost in trying to do so, well— you’ll lose yourself.

Being a model, it’s almost evident that I would feel pressure to fit a certain bodily mold (especially when my livelihood relies on how I look). But the pressure also extends into the very core of who I am. ”Am I cool enough?” Is a question I ask myself far too often. I don’t see my version of ”cool” being celebrated very often—in media or society. The kind of cool I see most celebrated is one of deadpan glares and ego-filled attitude. It’s not smiles till wrinkles form, it’s not hearty laughs, it’s not drawing cartoons (see stories), it’s not genuine desire for connection at a party. And so I always wonder—am I enough? Is my butt too much or enough? Is my soul too much or enough? But you know WHAT?! I freaking love everything that makes me, me!!!! I do! When I stop thinking about what I *think* people want to see in me, at the core, I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.

And so, as Christina Aguilera would say, “thanks for making me stronger”. Truly. That butt comment turned this ship around and reminded me of what’s most important. Self-love. Because no matter what size you are, no matter WHAT you are, it will always be too much or never enough for someone. So you gotta do you, and be YOUR ALL. The good news? You are everything you need. You are perfect the way you are. And there is magic in you, because there is no one like you, and you have a purpose in…well, being you. And that is the coolest.

The takeaway? YOU DO YOU.


original post here: